Valentine’s Day, with its pink and red roses, Hallmark cards, candy hearts and chocolates, may tend to reduce the significance of love to superficial acts of romance. It does, however, get people thinking, talking, and writing about relationships.
So for our Family post today, we collected a sampling of stories from HCB-network bloggers who wrote about their marriages.
Real love is more complicated and intimate than the mass-produced messages stamped on heart-shaped cards might suggest; real love takes work and attention, celebration and commitment.
These people know that. The following are excerpts from their love stories.
Ann Voskamp of Holy Experience wrote “What all of the Universe is Trying to Tell You Today”:
We sleep in arms, moon on faces, the cotton sheets twisted around legs. He breathes warm on me, rib of his side, and I live. I wake. And find in the morning on the towel rack beside the mirror, a tape of green, letters embossed and I don’t have glasses on and I roll my eyes because how many times do we tell the kids not to do things like this!
(Read the entire post here.)
Corinne of Trains, Tutus and Twizzlers wrote “Love Letter”:
Dear Streets of Salem,
I love you. With all of my heart. The reasons are more than the years I’ve known you. I think you are misunderstood, and hold so much more than the wax museums and witch trials.
Your streets hold my love story. My history with a certain man. Your streets cradle countless beginnings in my life.
Your streets coddled us on a first date, six years ago today. Hands were nervously held for the first time. Silent smiles spread across two faces while passing your town common. Doors were held, smalls of a back touched gently, and feet stepped in unison.
(Read the entire post here.)
The Unknown Contributor wrote “My Three Little Words”:
For I had already learned that love is a verb, not a capricious noun made up of pheromones, hormones, and other such sweet aphrodisiacs. So the rule was don’t tell me, show me. Because if I can’t tell by your actions that you love me, then let’s just stick with like.
My husband was a quick study and he took my warning seriously. He soon figured out that to get into my heart he needed to demonstrate my three little words… blood, sweat, and tears.
(Read the entire post here.)
Amber of the run-a-muck wrote “on the shadow and a confession: a love story” (the most recent installment in her series “my love songs“):
It’s day now but early enough for pitch dark. Seth is not in the bed. I walk un-rested to the living room where he sits with such a sad face. “What’s wrong?” I say. And he’s had a dream, too, so he says, “I hate to do this, but I need to know if there’s something you need to tell me.”
I sit down…
(Read the entire post here.)
Do you have a love story to share?
You’re invited to participate in our “Love Stories” writing project. Write and publish your own love story sometime this week at your blog, and we’ll link to you next Wednesday here at HCB. Leave the url in the comments here or in a comment box at my place by Tuesday afternoon, February 16.
Posts selected by Ann Kroeker of annkroeker. writer. “Word of Testimony” photo by Amber of the run-a-muck. Used with permission.
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I love all the LOVE this time of year
Thanks for spreading it, Ann!
Ah, yes, love is in the air! When I was younger, I was never a huge fan of Valentine’s Day…perhaps due to the Charlie Brown moments at my own mailbox year after year.
As it turned out, we chose a date close to Valentine’s Day for our wedding, so we have been able to enjoy something truly meaningful this time of year as we celebrate each anniversary.
I loved the creative approach you took with your love letter and may take the basic idea for my own this week. Thanks for the inspiration!
Love.
It’s so hard to write about, beyond words.
I think most of you have read this,
http://forsakenforlent.blogspot.com/2010/01/caught-in-motion.html
so I will try again, thanks for the prompt.
Wow. Please see my comment at your blog, Deb.
Ann,
your comment is very very appreciated. Thank you.
I shared my own love story on my blog last year, so this year posted a poem (which I wrote at Laity Lodge last year) about my marriage. I love V-Day!
http://www.denadyer.typepad.com
Marriage as waltz. My husband and I can get out of step sometimes, but after several clumsy bars of music we end up in sync again.
Here’s a link to the post that speaks of my first face-to-face with my beloved.
http://hisfirefly.blogspot.com/2010/01/flashback-friday-first-meeting.html
I visited your link (and will save it for next week), and it’s such a wonderful story!
Is writing about your spouse publicly healthy? Do they like the ‘world wide web’ attention?
Mine would not like it…just wondering if there are others
David, that is such an interesting question. Mine would totally die if I wrote about things publicly. Maybe it comes to what a couple wants to share together?
Now you’ve got me thinking about other things too… how far do we go when writing about our friends… our kids…. ourselves? (As a writer of memoir, this is always a terrible, terrible question for me. I did seek not *just permission* but blessing for each and every thing said in my book.)
Mine is OK as long as I stick to poetry. Occasionally I slip something else in, but she’s not a fan of the online world.
Great question. Personally, I think that we should definitely respect our spouse’s comfort level with telling our stories. I err on the conservative side, sharing very little about my husband, who is, like Glynn’s wife, a little leery of releasing too much personal information or private moments online. On the other hand, I think my husband would appreciate a carefully and subtly composed story.
If you have a chance to visit Corinne’s post, I thought she handled her love letter in a way that almost any of us could use as a model if we have spouses we’d like to honor but who happen to cringe from the spotlight.
You used the word “healthy.” Boy, that’s an interesting twist…I intend to put words to my love and admiration for my husband in my love story, and that process will be healthy, even if he ends up asking me to leave it off my blog. So I think it’ll be healthy to plan out and write. And if he’s comfortable with sharing it, I think a loving tribute can be healthy for others, as well, to read about two real-life people who are continuing to find love and deepen their relationship after 19 years of marriage.
Also, Song of Songs is a very intimate and open celebration of love that I assume has been helpful to its readers all these years after it was composed and shared publicly….was it healthy for the couple?
I’ll be thinking about this and watching for other responses.
By the way, L.L., I run things past my kids before publishing a story about them on my blog (especially if the stories put them in a negative light). If they aren’t comfortable, I don’t publish.
I always check with my beloved to get his “okay” before I post anything at all that I think he might be uncomfortable with. I would expect the same consideration if he wer blogging.
Question for you all.. do we give our spouses the same consideration when we are in conversation withh others? Or do we speak of them too freely?
Another option to this is the fact that you can blog about situations without actually naming those involved. Misunderstandings…Battles… To blog about your viewpoint without bringing them into it… I have done this often and, unless I have shared with someone close, no one would know who else was involved.
…just a thought
Some of my very favorite posts, ever. I’ll so totally need to participate here…
We’d love to read your love story….
I’m doing a 3-parter this week on “How I Knew He Was the One for Me.” http://wp.me/pmU9D-2WH
Great selections, Ann. I hope to participate.
SIDENOTE: Interesting question posed by Rupert… My husband has frequently been the subject of blog posts, and he’s a reader of my blog. I think it’s understood that there are parts of our lives that are too intimate or personal — too “us” — to share with the world. There have been times when I’ve nearly hit PUBLISH POST only to dismantle the post entirely because it seemed that the moments were better left to kindle here as quiet memories, in this home. … That can also be said of my times with God. There are some moments with God that are so intensely intimate, that they become ours and ours alone. Then, other parts feel right to share — especially if it’s something that I think might edify the Body overall in some small way.
Nicely said, Jennifer. I like how you summarized it…that some stories/experiences/interactions feel right to share because by sharing I might “edify the Body overall in some small way.”
These posts were all so great, thanks for sharing them here.
I wrote our love story in 5 parts a few years ago. Here’s a link to all 5 posts :
I saved the link and am looking forward to reading through your story!
Thank you for this, Ann.
I love this discussion. I think that if Seth and I didn’t believe in the power of Gospel in our story, we wouldn’t tell it. Believe it or not, though, there are things we’ve chosen not to tell.
There’s a time for everything.
I appreciate that David has us thinking! And I appreciate reading the heart and belief that motivate you to share your story.
I *love* this post and the stories and I appreciated Amber’s comment re: “the power of Gospel in our story,” because my marriage is part of God’s story and all my previous relationships (pre-husband), though they taught me much, pale in comparison to the great love story I share with my dear husband. Because we feel so strongly about God’s presence in our life, it’s hard not to share… but there is a time for everything too.
And then with a toddler in the house and a baby on the way… I think my heart and spirit just might burst from too much love!
Jessica, it sure sounds like your love is a big celebration!
Thanks, Ann!
I have a story to share. Thanks for the best of hit list here!
We’ll look forward to reading it!
All day I’ve been thinking about something else. Something hard. I’ve been thinking about how Valentine’s Day can be like Christmas is for those who’ve lost family.
I wonder how it hurts for those for whom love has “failed.”
I put the quotes there, because I don’t believe it’s really failure. It is something else maybe. Something unexpected. Somehow things didn’t go as planned (no one plans for love to disappoint, do they?)
And so, this little part of me wants to hear those stories too. Well, or at least to remember that they exist.
Ditto, that, L.L.
I’m also even feeling cautioned as I consider what I myself will post — and IF I will post. I don’t want to wrap my own love story in roses and perfume, when it’s not always perfect. It can be so easy out here in Blogger Land to give a plastic picture. We can fake the Rosy Life far too easily. We (I) open up the door just enough for others to see only the parts that I want them to see. And in the end, if I’m not careful, I could give a false sense of what real life and real relationship looks like. That could further hurt the hurting who may feel they’ve somehow failed, when they compare their own life to the “pretty” plastic ones …
Oh, I don’t know if that made any sense at all, but we’ll just throw it out there anyhow. (My brain works weird…)
Such a perfect thought! Very, very true. Thank you for recognizing and acknowledging that.
This is such a great thought. So important. Thank you for posting this, Laura!
L.L.,
I would be considered one of those. I prefer to call it losing love, rather than love failing (although it often feels like both.)
This is the first V-day in 4 years that has not hurt. I’m thankful.
I wrote a poem that shares briefly the essence of that journey. I posted on my blog, http://www.unveilingradiance.blogspot.com.
Thank you for sharing it, Angela. It’s beautiful.
I like that, Angela; for it is most definitely a loss. Thank you for sharing, for feeling safe enough. (And now I shall go read your poem.)
Thank you, L.L. and Ann, for reading my poem and for your kind words. You made my day! (smile)
Yes, I agree, L.L. Those are important love stories, too. And if people are willing and able to share them, I would be honored to read them. If they must remain private, however, you are wise to remind us to recognize that they exist and are part of our bigger stories.
How juicy am I allowed to get?
Hm, well, even though they aren’t the target audience for HCB, my daughters, ages 12, 14 and 15, sometimes pop over to read what I’m publishing here and at my blog. That sometimes helps me choose my words. And by all means, make sure it’s okay with your husband!
Oh, you know, as juicy as you like : ) Just put a Juicy-Warning-Label for the faint of heart. : )
L.L., you’re so funny! Monica, have fun!!
Hello! I wrote my uncoventional love story on Monday this week. I began it on my blog here: http://nebraskagraceful.blogspot.com/2010/02/we-do.html — and then finished it as a guest post over at my friend Deidra’s blog, jumping tandem: http://www.jumpingtandem.com/2010/02/love.html
Deidra is a member of the High Calling Blog network, and she’s a great writer. You should check out her blog!
I’m going back to read the love stories linked above — thanks!
Ok…so…my husband hates Valentine’s Day.
A.
Lot.
But, for the sake of our marriage, he plays along.
Because I love him, I celebrated love on a random, mean nothing day…simply because he inspired me
http://www.binaspad.com/2010/02/marriageunwrapped.html
Hope it is ok that it has the link to something different…as I wrote this post in response to the prompt given by another blog…the fact that it was about marriage, well, that was totally in the moment
Will add a link to HCB tho…
Fascinating. Can you tell us why he hates it?
(personally I like the chance for more chocolate… but of course chocolate needs to be on the roster more than just one day a year : )
I think he sees it so commercialized and over-stated so it just is a reason to spend money. Now don’t misunderstand me in that he is a very romantic guy…never misses a chance to make me smile over something that would be dumb to any heart other than mine. He does a good job each year, too. Picks a perfect card and always goes out of his way to make me smile…but I know he only does it cuz he loves me.
Chocolate Day is a monthly holiday…isn’t it?!?!?
Here;s mine , from last Valentine’s Day. Offering an unflinching look at love as the best source of spiritual therapy.
http://shrinkingthecamel.com/2009/02/11/in-praise-of-marriage-as-good-therapy/
Thanks for sharing the link, Bradley! I saved it for next Wednesday (and left you a note over at Shrinking the Camel).
Everyone should be sure to read this story of a couple married 85 years:
http://holykaw.alltop.com/worlds-longest-married-couple-handing-out-lov?
You’ve got me intrigued–I’m now following their tweets!
They tried to interview this couple on the K-Love (National Christian radio program) morning show a few weeks ago and the couple is so hard of hearing they couldn’t do the interview. It was cute how the morning show people kept trying to congratulate them and ask them what their secret was. They kept saying, “Whoo is this? What do you want?” Finally it came out that the husband said the reason for their long marriage is him always listening to his wife and saying, “You’re right, hunni!” or something like that.
Ann, you have chosen some of the most beautiful love stories I have read in blogland! Shivers. All the discussion is fascinating also. I tend toward the middle of the road in sharing details. I was far too naive when I started my blog to use the false name strategy. I have gotten into trouble by my boys for sharing early on, so am more careful now. I love the idea of getting “blessing”, L.L.! Now that is covering all bases.
And yes, Valentine’s is so difficult for some. I know Jesus is the Lover of My Soul, but how does that old chain e-mail go? Sometimes we just need someone with “skin on”. I am thinking of a particular friend in this instance. I would love to hear some of these stories too. It’s so valuable to share in the hard stuff, I think.
I posted something a couple of years ago about marriage that I will try to hunt it up.
This is so fun!
L.L.’s “blessing” approach shows so much respect for the person and the relationship, as well, and that’s what I want, too. I want to be honest without threatening relationships that need to be honored and strengthened.
My Line~His Dot. http://bit.ly/8KIroU Thanks for letting us share. Fun.
Reading the links and especially the comments, I wanted to hurry and delete mine. Condemnation shouting loud……be careful, hold back, hide.
I do want to bless my children and husband. However, with my personality and comfort level with intimacy and emotional nekkidness – it could seem like I don’t. Just for the record, I have my family’s blessing. Please don’t judge me/us! Don’t click, that’s all.
Tasteful and real don’t cancel each other out. I am so blessed by blog writers who
are real and unmasked. They are my favorite, most encouraging treats. Here’s to juicy,
succulent, wild, crazy hearts passionately in love with the Star Breather, spouses and families. We are the Bride of Christ, he desires us, finds us captivating, wants to watch us twirl. Tired and dutiful obligation doesn’t come close. The bible is full of scandalous women, raw stories, mostly NOT well behaved people. Hello? OK, I feel better. You can delete this Ann, it was free therapy. Love you.
Kathleen, you are a delight! You said, “I am so blessed by blog writers who
are real and unmasked.” Me, too. Amber was particularly vulnerable with her love story (her latest installment leaves us hanging), and Corinne (Trains, Tutus, and Twizzlers) and Kelly ({this}restless heart) have recently wrote wonderfully real posts in the past days about personal struggles. It’s a gift to those of us who are looking around and feel like all we see is “nice,” as you said. If my husband weren’t so reserved, I might be writing all kinds of scandalous posts! Well, maybe not. We are, actually, a relatively boring and well-behaved couple.
I loved your post, Kathleen. Blessing comes in many forms.
Ps. Could I have an un-intense redo? What I should have said is: Being nice isn’t what we should aspire to, being fully alive and engaged is. This can be appropriate, also. I think I’ve been whacked upside the head with religious ‘nice’ too many times – it doesn’t ever feel nice. It feels dead.
Here is 1 or 2 loves stories I’m sharing.
First one is about “Divinely Falling In Love”–
http://www.faithbarista.com/2010/02/the-love-challenge-day-two-falling-divinely-in-love/
I’ll be sharing another one on Saturday 2/13.
Thanks for the opportunity swap loves stories – my fave!
I’ve saved this link, Bonnie. Thanks!
I’m writing a four-part series on Thursdays this month about my God-Love story. Part two is up at my blog today.
I’ve got your link, too, Kelly!
Ann,
Thank you for the prompt. There are two stories I have been needing to tell for quite some time, and your post was the kick in the pants to finally get cracking at them. My husband pre-read/proofed this one last night and his response (good!) made me realize I have waited far too long. I will have to do this in a series of posts, but here is the first one: http://memoriaarts.com/2010/02/11/and-so-it-begins/
Seriously though, you should have put a “may need a box of tissues (or three) while reading these links” warning at the top of this post- I have been caught unawares a couple of times over.
Oh Ann … What a blessing this has been. You have no idea what a GIFT this little writing project has been for me!! For the first time ever — because of your love-story writing prompt — I pulled out our wedding video and watched it. We’d never done that before. Can you believe it, all these 14 years later? Crazy …
Anyway, I couldn’t fully sum up how that felt to watch that again, but I gave it my best shot over here:
http://gettingdownwithjesus.blogspot.com/2010/02/mr-lee-mr-lee.html
Jennifer, we have four wedding videos. One has sound but no picture. A second stops mid way due to battery loss. The third has sound and runs the entire length but was bumped and only catches the bride and bridesmaids (No joke – it cuts right between Julie and me). The fourth is perfect, but we’ve only heard about it and have since forgotten what relative recorded it.
I’m jealous.
Here’s mine: http://faithfictionfriends.blogspot.com/2010/02/it-is-our-music-it-is-our-dance.html
Here’s my 2nd love story – this one of me & Hubby –
How Love Begins: Fanning The Flames of Friendship
http://www.faithbarista.com/2010/02/love-beginnings-fanning-the-flames-of-friendship/
Thanks for reading!
This is an extra 3rd – just because I’m such a sap.
It’s a poem celebrating our anniversary —
http://www.faithbarista.com/2009/09/i-still-remember-an-ode-to-a-weddin-annivesary/
Ann,
My (perhaps atypical) love story here:
http://mybigthree.highcallingblogs.com/2010/02/13/new-births-in-love/
This was fun!
BTW I left a comment at your place, but I think it ended up in the spam.
Monica
I was expecting a much juicier post!
This was thoughtful and true in my experience, as well, Monica. I’m glad you participated!
A love story–a little messy, not at all romantic, but definitely love.
http://www.notableblogger.com/he-washes-my-feet
Okay, how do I make that a link? Non-techy alert!
I’ve got it, Christy! I’m saving your link along with the others to post on Wednesday, so never fear. Yours is on the list!
This is my favorite love story. It’s not mine…well, not yet.
http://www.notableblogger.com/a-beautiful-thing