Andrea at Espresso Shots got me thinking about marshmallows and a famous experiment performed on children in the 1960s. Andrea explains,
Each child in the study was given a single marshmallow and told by the researcher: “I’m going to leave the room for a moment. If you can wait until I come back to eat that marshmallow, I’ll give you more. If you can’t wait and eat that while I’m gone, I won’t give you any more.”
I won’t spoil the outcome here, but reading about it made me hungry and curious… I mean, as a kid, would I have taken the marshmallow or not?
Daily interactions with co-workers, family and friends give me a clue.
Check out Andrea’s post . She includes some fantastic metaphors. Then (if you’re willing to put yourself out there) come back and tell us what you would do. In fact, if you share an example of when you would take the marshmallow in a work situation, I promise to follow your lead with one of my own.
{ 17 comments… read them below or add one }
I might take a marshmallow if I liked marshmallows. Or if I thought there was no long-term harm in me eating a marshmallow and not being served more in the next hour (if indeed I liked marshmallows). Or if I thought the researcher looked like the persuadable type. : )
l.l., when have you taken the “marshmallow” in a work situation or in your career?
Hi, there,
Many thanks for the mention & link to the “marshamallow” post!
One “marshmallow” I tend to indulge in is working on fun, low-priority projects when I should be focusing on a high-priority-but-scary one. Then I have to work overtime and deal with high stress and crankiness to get it done before the deadline…
Thanks again for the post!
Andrea
Now, now, Sam. I already deftly avoided that question. : )
oh, i could see that. i thought that if i simply asked again, you would suddenly give in to the pressure. how about this psychological tactic:
so, l.l., let’s say you have a “friend” at work…
Hilarious, Sam.
As a matter of fact, I do have a friend…
This morning I woke up still thinking about that marshmallow. Wishing we were talking chocolate instead, but, nonetheless…
I was musing that I might eat the chocolate (I’m changing our food in question now to make it easier to discuss) if I thought the researcher might not actually come back because:
a. the researcher was not trustworthy (thus, I should eat the chocolate I have because I may not indeed be able to trust the promise of more)
b. he/she might have an accident before returning (poor researcher and poor me, waiting forever for more chocolate)
c. he/she might not really exist (it’s possible I imagined him/her, but the chocolate is right there, touchable, edible)
I will let my “friend” discuss any implications this might have for the workplace. (But, who knows, my friend may or may not exist. : )
i like the cryptic language, l.l. this is great for the read-between-the-lines folks at hcb.
i’ll pick letter “a” because it has to do with trust. one of the marshmallows i take quite often is affirmation. i brag to certain colleagues and in return, they affirm me. i don’t mean the obnoxious kind of bragging, but a more subtle, acceptable type. sometimes it’s a subconscious act; sometimes i realize it as it’s happening but i proceed anyway. regardless, i know when my motives are impure.
why do i do it? because i don’t trust that God will do it.
as you wrote, “i may not indeed be able to trust the promise of more.” see, if i wait for God to affirm me, there’s no guarantee of when it will happen, or even if it will happen. but when i take the matter into my own hands, i can schedule it into my day. i know that i have a meeting with so and so at 11 am. when he asks about xyz, i’ll say this to impress him.
in this area of my life, i take the marshmallow almost every time.
I like that you like the cryptic language.
I like cryptic language. It contains possibility, flexibility.
I like that you answered your own question too. (That is the best psychological approach yet! I’m sure my friend will be inspired to share someday. : )
I wonder if it is wrong to take the marshmallow. Or if it just is what it is. In other words, a small reward and pleasure for being in the right place at the right time, forfeiting the possibility of more, since it might not come anyway.
I’m thinking that the marshmallow analogy may break down.
And I’m thinking I must remember to have a cup of tea and a chocolate this afternoon, as a reward for working so hard on my manuscript today (and I trust that I will grant it to myself and that God will not mind and perhaps may even be the one granting it).
chocolate and tea. specifically, ghirardelli and earl grey.
i had mine before the harder work of today began. what does that mean?
No, I would not have eaten the marshmallow but that’s because I have always thought they were disgusting. Now if it were a piece of Symphony Bar or something else, I may have, but still probably not. I think I have pretty good self control. But my kids? They have zero, ages 3 and 5. Obviously the 3 year old is still learning, well aren’t we all? But my 5 year old just takes what she wants….how do I get her to be patient? Or ask permission? She doens’t see me do these things….ah, it must be daddy then.
been there, andrea. i eventually get it all done, but i do try to avoid the hard stuff.
sarah, thanks for sharing. i hope your discipline rubs off on the kids!
Since Sarah mentioned her kids I thought I’d mention mine too because that’s how the whole marshmallow conversation (and subsequent blog post) got started in my household.
My sister, who lives in another city, brought some early Christmas presents for my 6-yr-old (Brenna). She let Brenna open one gift, then asked if she would like to open more or wait till Christmas. Brenna replied she would rather wait so she would have more presents to open on Christmas. That’s when my sister turned to me and said, “your daughter would do great in the marshmallow experiment,” and proceeded to tell me about the whole study.
I was incredibly proud of my girlie’s self control, but I couldn’t tell you where she learned that … She certainly has her “moments” — as do I
Awww Andrea,
Isn’t that awesome to be so proud of you kids to know they have learned disciple such as a mere marshmallow? It shows you’ve been a good example to them, I think. After all, God tell us to live through actions and not just words. I children ’see’ what we do and not as say. Good for you. I’ll check out your blog later tonight when the kiddo’s are in bed around 8 Texas Time.
@Sarah – you’re too kind — I still struggle with the self control thing a great deal (and fail miserably at times). I’ll check out your blog too
How long would I have to wait?
Hi wrote, “How long would I have to wait?”
For the actual marshmallows? Twenty minutes, according to the study. Not too long, but then again, they were four-year olds. That’s an eternity to my four-year old.
For the “marshmallow”? Well, I’ve waited decades for some of those and still haven’t received my reward. Hebrews 11 helps.