Christ’s Ambassador

Mama Abutu, (as my mother-in-law is fondly called by admirers) gave birth to all her children out of total submission to her husband and deep respect for the laws binding marriage partners for life, for better and for worse. But she has never being a recipient of love in marriage. She is the only one who can say her testimony accurately but you can imagine what she must have passed through if I told you that: I’ve been married to my wife for seven years but I have met my father-in-law once, and that was as he handed over my wife to the Pastor who wedded us. He was in the house a year before then to attend my wife’s younger sister’s wedding, then ours one year later. Before these times and since then, he’s been at large. For reasons best known to God, and maybe himself, he just walked away from his matrimonial home and never looked back except on invitations.

Mama has gone through much difficulties in her marriage. But despite all that, she remains sweet. Rather than going down under the load she was forced to carry singly at a tender age, she cast it on the Lord’s able shoulders. Suzan, mama’s first daughter and my wife, tells me that there was no kind of menial jobs mama did not delve into so as to earn some decent money to feed her seven children. Because of these, the children also learnt to work hard at very tender ages. Suzan and her siblings sold oranges, bean cakes, peanuts, garden eggs and so on to help support the family, even when they were in the primary schools. The good news is that as at today, all the seven children are professionals in their chosen fields with degrees and diplomas. Four are married while the rest are already betrothed. They were not just given school education, mama trained them in the ways of the Lord and they have never departed from it.

The secret of mama’s survival and success is nothing but prayer. I learnt mama could pray all night - I mean speak to the Lord every minute of the night - and on her knees. She asked for strength to carry the load and God supplied more than she could ever immagine or have asked for. All through the crisis period, and even now, she has no other power but prayer. What has now grown to a Ministry taking care of widows, orphans and prisoners actually started as a prayer group of four adult women who had family problems, and mama’s children. 

While struggling to make her children turn out good despite all odds, mama herself did not neglect self-development programmes. Her parents did not send her to school but today, through sheer determination, mama has become a walking Bible commentary, for the gracious hands of her God is upon her. She preaches sermons smoothly pulling out scriptural quotations with ease as though she read them off an invisible screen. This is because mama has determined to study and obey the laws of the Lord and teach those laws and regulations to others around her. Ezra 7:9-10. She is a women fellowship leader in her church and member in many committees.

Mama is a widow whose husband is alive, for she has lived as a widow for almost all her life. Perhaps she developed her passion and love for widows from this bitter experience. Suzan says that some 25 years ago, she used to follow mama as she went round visiting widows in the neighbourhood and sharing little gifts like soaps, salt and grocery items, after which she would pray for them and share her testimony to encourage them. She had done this consistently but with increasing resources and sacrifice since then. Her network of widows has now grown above 400 aside the care of orphans and prison ministry, and still growing. What started as a little walk-around passion to keep her mind constructively occupied has now grown to an NGO with annual budget over a million naira.

In the mid ’80s, God upgraded mama. She was employed as a ward attendant in a the Specialist hospital at Makurdi, Benue State of Nigeria. This job opportunity gave mama another avenue to serve God. As the duty roaster takes her round, from Paediatrics to Obstetrics to Gynaecology, to Accidents and Emergency ward, mama took all as prayer rounds as she always sought to pray and speak with the patients one-on-one when she had the opportunity to do so. The result is that she became well known in and outside the hospital, and her widows ministry became all the more popular for it. Even doctors and matrons started seeking her prayer assistance when confronted with tricky cases.

In the midst of all these, mama is also a trader selling textile fabrics. She uses part of her off-duty days to travel to the big markets of Lagos, Kano and Onitsha to make purchases. Her home is the shop where she sells and also evangelizes her customers. Her tight schedules would also not stop her from outdoor evangelism. Her’s is not the street-walking, door-to-door type, but she would go to targeted houses of known backsliders in the church, or those she had attended to in the hospital or old customers who have not shown up for a while.

Mama was counselling a lady in my presence one day. She touched on her first struggle with the flesh when my father-in-law deserted her. She said after she had made up her mind to devote all of her life to serving Christ, the devil raised the issue of sex in her mind, as in “So Hannah, you want to serve Christ all of your life, heh? Without husband? Now what would you do when you feel the need for a man?” Mama is funny. She said she shouted out loud to devil, “Shut up!” Then she quietly went into her room, closed the door and knelt down before God and she prayed something like this “My God, I did not bargain for all these problem but I accept it because you permitted it. I want to serve you without distractions of men, lock your word in my heart and take the key away so that nothing else can come in.” Then she stood up relieved, and that was it as far as man was concerned. The peace of God which surpaseth all human understanding has flooed her mind since that moment. Not that the temptations ceased but Jesus has taken over and he is a specialist at fighting temptations. Recall the “It is written….” episode in the wilderness? Lk 4:1-9 (KJV)

Mama is able to remain a clay in the skilful hands of God, the Potter, because she allowed the grace of God to overlay her heart. When the fire of the Holy Spirit of God warms the heart, there would not be hardening. Mama forgives easily. My wife testifies that mama has never for once told her children any bad thing about their father. Even when the children became grown and could understand what was going on, she still encouraged them to forgive and love their father, and she would never tolerate any disrespectful statement or remark about the man. She nursed the undisguised hope that her God would one day bring her husband to her. This actually was why my father-in-law could attend our wedding and play his rightful role in the first instance. I would never had known him. Mama quickly searched for God in the midst of the circumstances she found herself, and having found him, she held on to God, looking forward to what lies ahead and forgetting the past. Phil 3:13

Anybody can be faithful to God when the going is good but it takes real commitment to “Stand by Night in the house of God”. In the seven years that I have known her, mama’s life has taught me good lessons in the ministry of suffering for righteousness, service and courageous discipleship. A few weeks ago, mama was posted to a department of the hospital that was situated way out of town and my wife sort of hinted that it was time she retired. Mama was scandalized. She asked if one retires from God’s service when God has not asked her to go and rest? Mama has not seen that hospital work as labour to earn a living, rather, she sees it as mission field, a portion of the vineyard of God where she is privileged to fulfil the highcalling of her daily life.

Mama’s perspective of her trials is spiritual and that’s why she did not buckle under the load. James wrote that “God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him” James 1:12 Though this crown will ultimately be worn in heaven but you can enjoy the feel of it today in honour and joy of service. Mama is honoured everywhere she goes because rather than carrying her problems, she carry God all about. God promises that “I will honour only those who honour me…” 1Sam 1:30.

As you read this I don’t know what you are going through in your life. All I know is that the same God who helped mama Abutu is there ready to help you. Just hold on to him.

Note:Neither mama nor any of her children solicited for this article to be written. It is my own decision to write to encourage people who may be going through hard times because of loveless marriages. However, neccessary permissions have been sought before publishing.