Listening: One of the Hardest Things You Will Ever Do

No doubt about it. Listening is one of the hardest things you will ever do.

Most people do not know how to listen. They think they do, but they don’t. Someone begins speaking and they pay attention with about 1/4 of their mind. One part of their mind is casually paying attention. Another part is listening to music, thinking about something else, or (worst of all) planning what they will say in response.

You can’t listen like that. Listening is a rich, full experience. You have to take a deep breath and watch the person who is speaking. You have to watch their body language and watch for expressions of emotion on their face. After all, body language and inflection carry most of the meaning.

New High Calling blogger Hollie Atkinson writes about the art of listening in a recent post.

“When good communication takes place, the listener listens with their whole being. Their ears are tuned in, certainly, but their eyes are focused, and their whole body says, “I am interested in what you are saying.” Good listening means letting your eyes light up - raising your eyebrows - expressing interest verbally like, “Oh, wow!” “Is that right?” “Are you serious?” “How about that!” People tend to keep talking about a subject that they think someone is interested in.

People who are skilled at listening are concerned with two tasks: 1) They must hear and understand what the speaker is saying, making sure that they are not hearing more than the speaker is saying. 2) They must encourage the speaker to continue to communicate.” … Read More

Looking Carefully at Ourselves

Men and women typically use different body language and different voice cues when communicating. Many men have a tendency to be very direct, loud, demanding, and somewhat forceful. Men can be intimidating. I’m not talking about bad men here. I’m not talking about abusive men. I’m talking about good men, and I know something about men because I am one.

How many times have you been in a conversation and noticed men dominating it? And how many times have you noticed women hanging on the edges of the conversation. They might have great things to say, but it’s too much work to force their way into the conversation.

As a Christian man, I try to watch for these things. I see them all the time, even at church.

High Calling Blogger Kim Quon is trying to be a good husband. He is a brave writer in this regard. Recently he’s been writing about this very subject, about how men can display what is called “predator patterning.” Check it out. Good men pay attention to this kind of thing.

“I’ve been writing about the overt aspects of predator patterning that may seem obvious to you (or maybe not). Even though they may be obvious, these patterns are not easily interrupted…. Although this patterning is inwardly focused (selfish) it is usually not self-aware. In other words, because it comes so naturally, we don’t know we’re doing it when we’re doing it. Guys, if you are doubting that you act out in this patterning, the best way to find out is to ask the one closest to you. Ask your wife.” Read More

Preparation 4 Eternity - A blog for Christian husbands.

Blessing Found in Silence

They say silence is golden. So why is it that silence is so hard for us?

Silence can be shocking to us when we find it unexpectedly. But when you become

quiet, you also can become open to seeing and receiving small blessings that

many people miss.

I’m not sure why I’m writing this post. It has something to do with believing

the idea that physical circumstances are put into my life by God to teach me

spiritual lessons. I try to take notice when unusual things happen and when the

same darn thing happens over and over again. A few nights ago, I went out to

take one of our dogs, Dunkin, a yellow Labrador retriever, for a walk as usual.

As soon as I walked out of the house I noticed the silence. I live near some

well-travelled streets and it is very unusual for it to be truly quiet…Click

here to read more.

Preparation 4 Eternity - A blog for Christian husbands.