Last year I spent a lot of time in my fifth-grader’s classroom. I got to know the classmates pretty well, and they often surprised me by how warmly they greeted me, in class, in the hallways, and even if I saw them while we were out and about.
This year? Those faces that were so warm and open are now closed and tight. There are no smiles, and in fact it seems that they would strongly prefer not to acknowledge or to be acknowledged. If I insist on greeting them, I get a brief nod and eye-flick, or maybe a grunt. If this is a preview of the teenage years, well, I’d better batten down the hatches and get crackin’ on my parenting and communication skills.
I remember my middle school years and shudder. It was the time when I forgot how to be comfortable in my own skin.
I also taught high school for 10 years–and found that the kids get quite a bit more comfortable as early as 9th grade.
Hang in there! Of course, my oldest is in first grade, and she still thinks I hung the moon.
mgoodyear
November 16th, 2007
I’ve been through this myself. Twice with one more coming. But it does pass. There is a strange emotional tunnel that many teen-agers enter. They disconnect from you very clumsily and obviously at first. Later they will settle down and begin to reclaim some things. Not every teen follows this pattern, but it’s common. We’re 2 for 2 so far.
real live preacher
November 19th, 2007