One of the interesting things about reading a lot of preacher blogs is that you’re usually acutely aware of the lectionary passage for the week. Yesterday’s, apparently, was the parable of the sower.
I have always found this parable uncomfortable because, even in my most ardent days, I secretly suspected myself of being stony ground. I suppose that on some level I understood that I couldn’t keep up at the pace I had set, and I was afraid that, despite a strong (if relatively late) beginning, my faith would soon wither.
As I said earlier, it is three years since I left The Church That Shall Not Be Named. I’ve attended at most a dozen church services since then (about half of which I left in tears). I know that technically it is impossible to be a Christian outside of a Christian community, and I do devoutly hope that I find a Christian community sometime soon. But at the moment it seems that all I can do is to hang on, continue to engage with the questions, and pray for healing and direction.
“I know that technically it is impossible to be a Christian outside of a Christian community…”
I used to fret about this, as well. I have concluded that this is a vicious lie propounded by so-called Christians who want to control their adherents. You can, too, be a Christian outside of a community. Think of the desert ammas and abbas. Think of people in prison and people who are cut off from religious community for a variety of reasons, including the reasons you and I find ourselves beyond the Pale. If you follow the Christ, you are a Christian. Please do NOT have any doubt about that.
The need you may feel for a Christian community is quite another thing. If you still have that, my heart goes out to you. I hope you will either find a community or get past the need for it, one or the other.
Personally I have chosen to self-identify as a post-Christian most of the time. During those periods of neediness, when I really want a church community, I’ve decided to identify, I choose to consider myself a part of Covenant Baptist Church in San Antonio. I have never been there, although I hope and pray I will have the chance to visit someday. It may be wrong of me, but I think the people of Covenant are the kind of folks who would welcome even such a one as me.
It is a possible to be a Christian without involvement in a local Christian congregation. Sometimes that is where God calls us to be. And God will not abandon us even in that calling.
Don’t let the bastards in the Church (or churches) That Cannot Be Named get you down!!
NIW
July 21st, 2008